SCALPER CONVENTION
(parody of "Karma Chameleon" by Culture Club)
by John Thorpe, a.k.a. SNAPMAN (snap_man@ix.netcom.com)

Shortpacked figures at your booth every day.
People listen to your lies as you say
You're a man with variations.
You're a man who doesn't know
How to sell an action figure.
You'll come and go, you'll come and go.
 
Scalper scalper scalper scalper scalper convention,
You'll come and go, you'll come and go.
Buying would be easy if your prices were like a dream,
Half price and free, half price and free.
 
I hear your wicked words every day
That your toys are just so rare, I have to pay
'Cause your toys were all exclusive.
When you scalp I know you're wrong
'Cause you don't provide a service.
You scalp along, you scalp along.
 
Scalper scalper scalper scalper scalper convention,
You'll come and go, you'll come and go.
Buying would be easy if your prices were like a dream,
Half price and free, half price and free.
 
Every toy is like survival,
You're a scalper, and a rival.
Every toy is like survival,
You're a scalper, and a rival.
 
You're a man with variations.
You're a man who doesn't know
How to sell an action figure.
You'll come and go, you'll come and go.
 
Scalper scalper scalper scalper scalper convention,
You'll come and go, you'll come and go.
Buying would be easy if your prices were like a dream,
Half price and free, half price and free.
 
Scalper scalper scalper scalper scalper convention,
You'll come and go, you'll come and go.
Buying would be easy if your prices were like a dream,
Half price and free, half price and free.
 
Scalper scalper scalper scalper scalper convention,
You'll come and go, you'll come and go.
Buying would be easy if your prices were like a dream,
Half price and free, half price and free.