ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS SCALP
(parody of "All She Wants To Do Is Dance" by Don Henley)
by John Thorpe, a.k.a. SNAPMAN (snap_man@ix.netcom.com)

They're grabbin' up the figures and puttin' 'em in their cart
And all she wants to do is scalp, scalp
Scalpers been scalpers since right from the start
And all she wants to do is scalp
Treasure Hunt Hot Wheels, Cantina band
And all she wants to do is scalp, scalp
They pick 'em up right from the stockboy's hands
And all she wants to do is scalp
Figure hunters lookin' 'round with cash on their minds
And all she wants to do is scalp, scalp
Stymied toy collector who ain't afraid to buy
And all she wants to do is-
All she wants to do is scalp and charge for help
She can grab the figs hangin' off the pegs
She wants to take them
She wants to hoard them
All she wants to do is-
All she wants to do is scalp
 
Well, the manager closed the stockroom at the local Toys 'R' Us
And all she wants to do is scalp, scalp
To keep the guys from takin' all the toys they come across
And all she wants to do is scalp
But that don't keep the guys from takin' a toy or two
And all she wants to do is scalp, scalp
They still can sell collectors all the figs that they can move
And all she wants to do is-
All she wants to do is scalp and charge for help
 
Well, we barely made the exit from the last checkout
As we speeded down the aisle I could hear the buyers shout
They yelled, "Don't come back here Scalper!"
But if I ever do-
I'll buy more figures
'Cause all she wants to do is scalp and charge for help
Always buys the figs hangin' off the pegs
She wants to take them
She wants to hoard them
All she wants to do is-
All she wants to do is scalp
All she wants to do is scalp and charge for help
All she wants to do is scalp