JUMPIN' JACK SCALPER
(parody of "Jumpin' Jack Flash" by the Rolling Stones)
by Clams Casino

I was born in a flea market booth
and I yell at collectors in TRU
But it's all right now, in fact, it's a scalp
But it's all right, I'm Jumpin' Jack Scalper
It's a scalp scalp scalp

I was raised by a shabby smelly old guy
I was schooled with a price guide in aisle 7c
But it's all right now, in fact, it's a scalp
But it's all right, I'm Jumpin' Jack Scalper

I was washed up. I had nuthin' but Landos
I fell to my kness and saw slave Leias
I scowled at all the other peg-warmers
I was crowned by an AT-AT that fell on my head
But it's all right now, in fact it's a scalp
But it's all right, I'm Jumpin' Jack Scalper
It's a scalp scalp scalp
Jumpin' Jack Scalper, It's a scalp